On graduating in the class of 2020...

I've been quarantined for months now

the entirety of my final quarter of college

the parts of spring I craved,

sitting in the sun with friends while doing homework

taking the light rail downtown on weekends

and walking in the warmth of an evening in May

the lightened course load I'd worked so carefully

to plan for the spring of my senior year

my parents watching their daughter

get her college degree

something neither of them had the opportunity

to experience

a chance to celebrate

the past four years of effort

I didn't think graduation meant much to me

until I cried in a therapy session

realizing that everything just flows on without recognition

I don't think it's selfish

to want to feel like you've accomplished a great deal--

because you have

yet I understand the selfishness

in gathering

and I crave nothing more

than being surrounded by the people I love

by the ones who shared late nights

in the library

in backyards full of constellations and noise pollution

I do not think it's selfish

to want to say thank you

for all of it

for wanting to hear

you did it

and I am so proud

but I sit in my apartment

take my walk

like every other day

for the past three months

and try to make it feel different.