What’s Going On??

Okay yes but what you don’t understand

is that it’s raining in Kampala

and listening to the soft, muted fall

of rain on grass

I can’t help but cry

the rain means so much more

when it’s washing away unbearable heat

blistered skin and heartbreak

of someone no longer whispering

“I hate to see you cry”

which I know to be true;

it was and it is still

but you must understand

that when it rains in Kampala

it’s out of my control

the soft fall of rain

on grass and tin roofs

will win out every time

I’ve been writing a lot of poetry. Like, a lot. I’ve been sharing some on my Instagram and this feels so much more resonant than writing about my time here just to write about it. I leave Uganda tomorrow and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Currently, I’m anxious because I left my favorite (and only) boots and a roll of film from my entire time in Uganda and a couple weeks in Kenya in a tent at the last place we stayed. I’m unsure if I’ll get these things back. Beyond that, I feel excited to spend time in Jordan, write my final paper in my favorite cafe, see my host family. I’m excited to go to Turkey and explore without a large group of people. I’m excited to be home, to be in a single place for a month. I’m excited to move back into my apartment in Denver, to cook and to study and to fall into routine. All of these things make me nervous, too. I know it will be freezing in Wisconsin and I don’t know if I’ll make it through December with all of my fingers. I am terrified to graduate college and have to decide where to live/what to do/what makes me happy. So right now, it’s raining in Kampala. And I have travel plans and graduation plans and absolutely no idea what is happening next. So I’m writing it all out; words on paper until something feels right and whole and guiding. I’ll get there when I get there.